Aposematic Facade

A gnarly mushroom


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Office of Exoplanetary Settlement - Functional Flora Department
Trip Report: Saturnian Voidshroom.
Test Subject: K----- [Redacted] Bhatt, 26.
Quantity: 2.5g ground voidshroom.

T - 0:00 (Dosing): K reports the colors of the ground voidshroom look like "sour confetti". The flavor is salty and bitter, "like sun-baked clay", but K is successful in oral consumption. No immediate response, consistent with safety panel simulations.
T+ 10:00: K reports no effect, insists on something to help with aftertaste. Water insufficient. Lab medic produced and administered sugarless mint tab. K appreciative, behavior normal.
T+ 30:00: K is restless, fidgety, and becoming more talkative. "I think there's something coming."
T+ 36:00: K reports "It's coming. Breathing feels strange." K increases deep breathing, but shows no sign of restriction or obstruction. K begins humming an unfamiliar tune.
T+ 50:00: K is fixated on temperature, breath, and his mouth. K is exploring "experimental" breathing patterns to "keep the air balanced better". Heart rate increasing, likely due to increased aerobics.
T+ 1:10:00: While attempting to document his "experimental" breathing techniques, K confused the words "experimental" and "spearmint". K has spend the last several minutes spitting on the floor mumbling about mints.
T+ 1:25:00: Danger Protocol 2 enacted, K is not present of mind enough to ensure safety for staff in the room. Staff has retreated to a secure observation room to continue. K is not violent, but seems unaware of the external environment.
T+ 1:45:00: K is pacing frantically, scraping at his tongue. He verbally looping through confused thoughts: "Fresh? It's Fresh? This is Fresh? Refreshing? Fresh Again?"
T+ 1:48:00: K suddenly bit his tongue, severing the tip. Intervention protocol initiated.
T+ 1:51:00: Intervention team retreated, complained of stinging eyes, nose, and throat while in the testing area. Waiting for hazmat reinforcements.
T+ 2:00:00: K's has fallen prone, shaking sporadically, body temperature plummeting. Emergency environment suits being assembled to attempt vital rescue.
T+ 2:10:00: Volunteer tech entered testing area, wearing makeshift protection. Attempting to talk to K. K: "So cold. So fresh and cold and bright." Tech: "It smells like gum in here. It's the mint. It did something. Hold on."
T+ 2:15:00: Tech retrieved hot sauce from fab-kitchen. Dabbed his finger, and administered to K orally. K shaking violently, grasping at Tech desperately, seizures sporadically.
T+ 2:45:00: K is slowly "waking up" from his experience. Talking softly, claims to "be back".
T+ 2:55:00: K appears to be exhibiting typical behavior, if exhausted. Reports the subjective experience: "The voidshroom liked the mint, and tried to get my whole body to become more mint. I was there, but evaporating and freezing in the spearmint winds. I think the hot sauce killed it. I need to lie down for a while."
After observing K, the Functional Flora Department has concluded the Voidshroom is a functional plant with great potential, and encourages its agricultural development with the warning "Do not mix with mint."


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