I learned to stack blocks, and bust blocks for ghosts
and I could cruise USA from coast to coast
and I don't want to boast, but I can make toast
with an incredible machine that does it better than most.
Plumber brother practicing the jump and run,
and it's unreal what I do with a plasma gun.
Mega taught me the importance of bringing the right one
Kirby showed the right tool gets the hard fights done.
I learned how to strategize, and how to plan ahead
'cause in the age of empires, it's always alert red.
Get the chills when I hear nuclear launch detected,
but with my missile commands, they get deflected.
Reflexively, I will flex the keys,
and land the lunar lander with a dexterous ease.
I can dock at star stations, and sign treaties
between galactic empires and rebellious species.
I've built coasters and cars, houses and mansions
I've played in a band and I've done some dancin'
I've saved the helpless, the city, the planet then
lost the save and got right back out and at it, and
I've ground out the levels, I've caught them all
I can rock the league with my monkey ball.
Look for me when I'm last man standing tall
when the world's in need, I'm the one they call.
I can rock a halo but not above my head,
I can lead a team to survival when we're all left for dead,
I can run the rooftops dancing on the mirror's edge
and when I put you in the air I'm grabbin' to the ledge.
My raid group is grand master,
my speed runs are faster
I stutter step my tempo to interrupt your flow
cause I'm not a belly pickin' button masher.
I'm not that into gore, but this killing floor
has a bit of red and it could use some more!
I'm making mischief on my way to the top score
so I'm taking your boat and leaving you on the shore.
And I planted C4 on the truck back there
then left it in open air just to see if they dare
and when they do, I'm think I'm gonna fill the air
with some pyrotechnics and some tufts of hair!
I show up to blow it up that's the plan of attack
Don't look confused at this fuse just take a step back,
while I fire up a spinfusor and lay down the trap.
Just get ready to move, we're going for the cap!
Before you boom about how it's rotting our brains,
take a moment to see the lessons in these video games.