I was feeling pretty lonely, but I'm still an innovator
so I built myself an automated wave generator
to wave at people passing and invite them to come say hi.
Folks didn't feel the frequencies, they kept on walking by.
Except the nerds with radiometers and goofy Geiger clickers
Who'd triangulate my signal of solitude and then just snicker.
Perhaps I need to use a slightly stronger strange attractor
so I tooled together a roughly people-sized gravity tractor
I refactored the beam so doesn't tickle when it grips hold
but there's something about the circuits that get too cold
and it snows, wind blows every time I turn it on
but I've set up the fireplace and I've got the burners on.
So whether or not I've got a weather control device
when you arrive in my orbit the climate will be nice!
Now a crowd is gathered around, they're all knocking at my door.
Are they ready to meet the mastermind, am I ready to be adored?
Open up, welcome in! Wait, why are they slapping cuffs on my wrist?
What is the meaning of this? What do you even mean, "mad scientist"?