Eager for an email that could rearrange my days.
Anxiety inside of me is begging to betray
the steady mood I set in to just earlier this week.
I have hopes as high as they have been now for a while,
but I'm tucking nervous tears back, somewhere just above my smile.
And I hope my pets don't notice when I tremble while I speak.
Maybe Monday morning I will manifest a better mood
maybe Tuesday evening I will get to share the news,
but for now it's just my patience, waiting with the gradients I combine.
These systems that I know, I learned back when I learned to grow.
And no matter what comes next for me, I'm never letting go
of the textures, shapes, and colors that fill in my free time.