First they taught me just to breathe
even though life made me seethe
all that anger
it's so dangerous
a little air is all you need.
In between the rage and tears,
I tried to breathe away the fear.
I promise you, I tried.
Then they told me go outside
you're stuffed up when you hide inside
ignore the bees
and bullies
a little sun is what I need.
In between grass stains and sunburns,
I tried to sun-dry my sorrows.
I promise you, I tried.
Then they told me God could do it,
find a way and lead me to it.
The scripture is funny.
Before asking for money
they say a little grace is all you need.
In between the parables and the pews,
I tried to pray the pain away.
I promise you, in God's name, I tried.
Then they told me try a doc
whose meds made most my feelings stop.
Maybe tomorrow
it won't hurt to swallow,
a little pill is all you need.
In between the puke and the panic,
I tried to medicate the stress away.
I promise you, for too long, I tried.
Then they told me try some bud.
Try some drinks, try some drugs.
I was getting by
by getting high.
A little toke is all you need.
In between the coughing fits and ego death,
I tried to smoke the dread away.
I promise you, I tried.
Then I tried to take control
Meditated, met my soul.
Deep inside,
a garden thrives.
A little hope is all I need.
In between the art and the verse,
I tried to grow through the hurt.
I promise you, I grew.
Good intentions went so far
but still I suffered from the scars.
Stomach churning,
candle burning.
A little help is all I need
In between sleepless nights and sick days,
I asked for help with my illness.
It was hard, but I asked.
Again, they told me try some meds.
I told them how they hurt my head.
They insisted,
it could be different.
They'd help me find the help I need.
So in between the screaming fear and the rattling bottle,
I tried again to heal.
I promise you, I tried.
I can barely type the words.
It's working.
It just sounds absurd.
Steady head
rests well in bed.
Is this little pill just what I need?
In between the happy days and pleasant nights,
I try so hard to believe it.
I promise you, I try.
I hope you get to catch my smile
I hope it lasts for quite a while
I'm feeling great
but I hesitate
to be happy getting what I need.
So in between the confidence and charm,
if you see the shadow in my eyes.
I promise you, I'm trying.
Author's Note: It's still working!
Enjoying my poetry? I have over 70 of my best poems from 2018-2022 in a collection called Laser Fractal Space Magic. Available digitally and in paperback.